This morning, for the first time in almost two years, I ran a kilometre. Without pain. Without painkillers. And I am so grateful.
It’s been four months since my surgery to decompress my spine and a year since the cortisone shot to try and get me back on my feet. A length of time that felt like an eternity. My mental health suffered without my go-to stress relief activity and the effects of pain management drugs are showing up now, a year later. I don’t really remember parts of last fall… Emails, pictures, stories are cropping up that I don’t remember at all. It is terrifying. Maybe this feeling of whole experiences missing from your memory is what functional addiction feels like?
For everyone that was patient, helpful, loving and present while I was not myself, thank you. I see you and can’t wait to hug you again soon.
I’ll be the one in running gear.